top of page

I am home

My friend, Kathleen prompted me.

She commented on a recent Instagram post ‘that’s a powerful statement’ I assume she is referring to the title of the painting (pictured below) ‘I am home’. This entry explains how the painting and the title came into existence.

I have a passion for chairs, I like them much more than a couch or other mode of rest. I suppose it has something to do with their complete independence. Often I utilize chairs for more than sitting, an excellent storage unit for scraps of mail, a drying rack for laundry, or a seat for an inanimate object I want to treat as a painting subject.

I am home, Oil on canvas panel, 7x5in, 2021

My work and life are fluid for this very reason. Serendipity and kismet connections allow my work to flourish. Last week, I hung my brown cardigan on the back of the chair to dry from just being washed. A day later, still hanging I started to paint this. Forgive my woo-woo nature, but my energy told me I could give this situation attention that would keep me interested. So, I abided. My favorite part of the painting is the small curl on the bottom left. The rosy background gives me a sense of peace and warmth.

For whatever reason when I create a painting of an empty chair it is a siren for my mental state. A warning, that loneliness is looming. As I started to finish the painting I came to see that yes, the chair is empty, however, its back is encased with an object of mine that I love.

Struggling the past few years with who I am, where I want to live, what structure will my intimate life take worries me. The worry can escalate to something full blown, but through meditation, flexibility, and gentle self-inquiry I am closer to making peace with the worry. One of the breakthroughs was during a meditation this summer, the phrase ‘I am home’ entered my mind. ‘I am home’ no matter where I am, I don’t need to search for a home or place of belonging because I belong to me. As I viewed this painting of an empty chair with a piece of my clothing holding on to it I thought a fitting title would be this phrase. I am home, even when that home is lonely, or uncertain, or happy — I am it. I have less to fear because I have less to loose when I know I will always be there for myself.


bottom of page